Courage, Dear Heart

There are many times in life where fear becomes a mighty fortress in my life, holding me captive though I want to break free. I never was one to possess a great deal of bravery. I was afraid of many things; darkness, loneliness, or being abandoned, cages, numbness, and even more afraid of having no means to control what was happening in my life.

If something upset my little world, I wanted to fix it, and fix it damn fast. If something upset a loved one’s world, I wanted to fix it as well.

If I could do nothing to control the storms in my life, fear came in and swept over me, capturing me in iron-clad talons. A cage I am very scared of.

Ironically, my favorite part of The Voyage of The Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, is the chapter titled: The Dark Island. Where it tells the reader to picture a railroad tunnel so long and so twisty that we cannot see a light shining at the end.

Lucy trapped in a place so dark she couldn’t be more afraid, yet when Lucy realized the fact that the darkness did not grow any less, suddenly she felt slightly better.

Apparently, life also won’t get any easier. And that was something the book has taught me.

There have been so many times when pain has stabbed my heart in such a way that I gasp and think “I’ll never recover from this.” I find that I’ve been in darkness for far too long, I’ve let fears become companion, which is never a good thing.

But at some point in life, I realized that to escape the tunnel first I should accept the fact that I am actually in the tunnel, surrounded by darkness. And that what matters most isn’t how dark it is. It’s something inside all of us that moves our feet one step at a time. Something greater that the fear itself: a strength, a courage.

This piece of sentence by C.S. Lewis that I made permanently on my left chest is a reminder to the heart to overcome whatever lies in my path, to keep on moving forward one step at a time, a reminder to never let fears drown me thinking how dark it was.

The sweet piece of encouragement. A whisper of courage.

“Courage, dear heart.” Tattoo by Lidya Adventa of @benosquarebali

Author: bungaistyani

The Strategist, expect overthinking.

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