Summer Sonic was the best decision I’ve made in 2016 that I’d take over and over and over again in a heartbeat.
Peace. Love. Unity. Respect. Music festivals has been known as a great place to be completely yourself and not have to worry about judgement. I was there to prove it right.
After 27 years of living, I finally decided to go to Summer Sonic music festival in Osaka for the first time, and it was the BEST decision I made in 2016. I met people I never normally would, listened to the sweet melodies of music I had never heard before and made golden memories I’ll keep with me for the rest of my life.
It was a hard job lighting up the night sky while everyone else was sleeping.
One day the moon took up singing in order to pass the time. It sang songs about loneliness and sadness. Then it sang songs about love and loss.
A passing cloud heard the moon’s melancholy songs and stopped to give a listen. The moon’s song touched him so deeply that he began to weep, which of course formed rain. The rain washed over the bushes of roses causing one single-stemmed rose to feel refreshed and new.
“That feels good,” the rose said to the cloud. “Thank you.”
“Thank the moon,” the cloud replied. “Her sad songs made me cry. And every time I cry I feel lighter,” the cloud said as he floated away.
There are many times in life where fear becomes a mighty fortress in my life, holding me captive though I want to break free. I never was one to possess a great deal of bravery. I was afraid of many things; darkness, loneliness, or being abandoned, cages, numbness, and even more afraid of having no means to control what was happening in my life.
If something upset my little world, I wanted to fix it, and fix it damn fast. If something upset a loved one’s world, I wanted to fix it as well.
If I could do nothing to control the storms in my life, fear came in and swept over me, capturing me in iron-clad talons. A cage I am very scared of.
“Excuse you?” She looked up at him, raised her eyebrows up a notch.
“Tell me, when was the last time you randomly walk into a flower shop? When was the last time you spend your time watching the sky turning from yolky orange into an indigo dusk? When was the last time you sit in a coffee shop, staring at all those passing cars outside and thinking about dusty dawn?”
Alaska paused. She opened her mouth but none came out of it. She inhaled deeply and stutters, “I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you remember you used to talk poetry? You used to listen with your ears, your eyes, and your heart. You were a wizard with the pointy hat from across the road, happily playing with those cats and raindrops, you used to wave away your wand, saying hi to every passerby. You used to smile at strangers,” he continued as she stares blankly at the sky, avoiding his gaze.
A few years ago, I first became aware of what was being called “agitated depression.” It was my own most challenging struggles and the first ring of hell with clinical depression. It took me so much closer to the fire of self-hating/loathing, the desire to do yourself harm, and thoughts of suicide. The agitated piece is the anxiety and panic attacks.
Once I was clinically diagnosed with anxiety, I started to pop anti-depressants every morning with a breakfast I could barely stomach. I had to leave some lives I’d wanted because of my stress. Depression took a lot from me, but the most tragic thing is the way I could not bring it up to anyone. I told almost no one about what has been going on just because I didn’t have the courage to. I battled it on my own everyday, until I degradingly distanced my self with my friends and families.
Now this doesn’t mean that I have been depressed for my entire life, that isn’t how it works. It simply means that for as long as I can remember, I have experienced periods of depression of varying lengths. And that for as long as I can remember, I’ve lived in fear of those times.
“But you are a Brand Strategist who designs strategic plans for brand’s communication. You work in the field that requires you to do a lot of talking, you go on meetings a lot, you have to be a people person to be in communications!”
Not true. It’s my job to tell stories, deliver the message, and help connect the dots for people. It’s not my job to be the life of the party.
It began as a humblebrag and an excuse. It meant, “I am using an expensive mobile device to send this email, so please don’t judge my spelling errors, lack of punctuation, or clipped sentences.”
Yes, I am talking about email signatures.
These signatures, automatically generated, would not have been an auspicious place to look for creativity or wry humour. And yet, it seems like every other day I come across someone who has crafted a little message that says and does a lot more than beg forgiveness and flaunt status.