Courage, Dear Heart

There are many times in life where fear becomes a mighty fortress in my life, holding me captive though I want to break free. I never was one to possess a great deal of bravery. I was afraid of many things; darkness, loneliness, or being abandoned, cages, numbness, and even more afraid of having no means to control what was happening in my life.

If something upset my little world, I wanted to fix it, and fix it damn fast. If something upset a loved one’s world, I wanted to fix it as well.

If I could do nothing to control the storms in my life, fear came in and swept over me, capturing me in iron-clad talons. A cage I am very scared of.

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When Was The Last Time

“You’re starting to lose the magic.”

“Excuse you?” She looked up at him, raised her eyebrows up a notch.

“Tell me, when was the last time you randomly walk into a flower shop? When was the last time you spend your time watching the sky turning from yolky orange into an indigo dusk? When was the last time you sit in a coffee shop, staring at all those passing cars outside and thinking about dusty dawn?”

Alaska paused. She opened her mouth but none came out of it. She inhaled deeply and stutters, “I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Do you remember you used to talk poetry? You used to listen with your ears, your eyes, and your heart. You were a wizard with the pointy hat from across the road, happily playing with those cats and raindrops, you used to wave away your wand, saying hi to every passerby. You used to smile at strangers,” he continued as she stares blankly at the sky, avoiding his gaze.

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Sent From A Galaxy Far, Far Away

“Sent from my Iphone”

It began as a humblebrag and an excuse. It meant, “I am using an expensive mobile device to send this email, so please don’t judge my spelling errors, lack of punctuation, or clipped sentences.”

Yes, I am talking about email signatures.

These signatures, automatically generated, would not have been an auspicious place to look for creativity or wry humour. And yet, it seems like every other day I come across someone who has crafted a little message that says and does a lot more than beg forgiveness and flaunt status.

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We Always Want What We Ain’t Got

You know what?

I want to end hunger. I want world peace. I want to go space traveling. I want to get drunk and get lost in the city that no one knows my name. I want to go for a walk to the park and sleep and just looking at the sky while listening to the humming voice from the stranger next to me.

I wish the world didn’t move so fast. I wish we had the patience to listen to one another for once, to actually listen instead of gazing blankly at walls and nodding and not caring very much at all.

We are so busy trying to live lives consumed by other people’s ideals and expectations that we forget what makes us happy.

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The Theory of ‘Bangkutaman’

There were days where my mind wonders far back to the past. One of those days was exactly on August 20, 2015.

That night, that particular night… was something else.

It was at 365 Ecobar, Kemang. I went there that night, a regular bar with regular choices of beers but with abnormal prices (duh, in this economy?!). So I went to that place for supporting my colleague (whom also a very good friend of mine) who is happened to be one of the member of this — for the lack of terms — indie band called Bangkutaman.

I just found out that his band plays psychedelic folk rock. And that night Bangkutaman was having their ‘#5TahunOBK: Vinyl Launching Party’ on the very bar for their album, Ode Buat Kota.

I was with other friends too that night, watching the gig. No one knew Bangkutaman before.

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